Jaisalmer (Thar Desert): “In the morning we go to meet your camel.”
I was first introduced to my camel as Michael Jackson (the camel’s name, not mine), but I later found out that his real name was Rallu. A much more camel-sounding name if you ask me.
Read MoreJaisalmer: “Oh… It go ice.”
It is clear to me that the waiter has the power to freeze water at will, and that sometimes, maybe when he has spilled birayani down a customer who would have been a big tipper, or a cow gouged at him on the way to work because he looked at it funny, he loses control of his power and ends up showing it to us mere mortals in the form of sudden soft drink freezing.
Read MoreUdaipur: “Are you jamisponding me?”
There is really only one thing about Udaipur that people go there for as far as I can tell. A shaken but not stirred thing that is regularly viewed with golden eyes and pointed out with gold fingers, and… oh hell, I cannot be bothered with anymore James Bond hints. You get the idea.
Read MoreBundi: “The work of cobbling rather than men.”
Fort Monkeys, breakfast monkeys, “Your monkey stick doesn’t scare me” monkeys. A whole monkey army of which sat around us as we climbed to the fort, perched on every wall and window, eerily following us with dark monkey eyes…
Read MorePushkar: “Two hundred and thirty four years, and now change!”
A Pushkar newpaper seller celebrates Barack Obama’s election victory. He shakes M by the hand, after posing for a photo with his newspaper-displaying bicycle. “Two hundred and thirty four years,” he tells us excitedly, “and now change!”
Read MoreJaipur: “This is no rickshaw! This is Ferrari!”
An army of monkeys marching down three sides of a narrow alleyway, their tails waving like banners of victory behind them.
Two mud-black pigs caught snuffling through the worst smelling rubbish in a tiny side street, one turning its too-pink nose to pose for the camera.
Read MoreBUY MY BOOKS! (go on)
All content © Deadly Knitshade. Please ask if you wish to use it.
Downloading of images has been disabled by dark magic. If you steal anything from this site Ms Knitshde will release the flying knitting machete monkey. Then you'll be sorry. 
Stalkers’ comments