Pushkar: “The animals are arriving already!”
Off in the distance camels stretch into as far as the eye can see. Single humped, double humped, dark furred and light, rough haired, and two toed. Chewing with lower teeth jutting out from the split in their floppy camel lips. Adorned with cascades of all-coloured pompoms, plaits, and beaded trinkets, looking proud and silly all at once.
Read MorePushkar: “Two hundred and thirty four years, and now change!”
A Pushkar newpaper seller celebrates Barack Obama’s election victory. He shakes M by the hand, after posing for a photo with his newspaper-displaying bicycle. “Two hundred and thirty four years,” he tells us excitedly, “and now change!”
Read MoreJaipur: “This is no rickshaw! This is Ferrari!”
An army of monkeys marching down three sides of a narrow alleyway, their tails waving like banners of victory behind them.
Two mud-black pigs caught snuffling through the worst smelling rubbish in a tiny side street, one turning its too-pink nose to pose for the camera.
Read MoreDelhi to Jaipur: “She is very old and gets sick when she travels.” (groooooaaan)
“She is very old and gets sick when she travels.” The girl explained, “She must sit by the window”. Granny moaned in pure Bollywood style. We looked at the Indian men stretched out on the bunks above, one to a bunk, opening a sneaky eye to watch the proceedings and then hastily shutting it when they saw us watching.
Read MoreDelhi: “Beeeeeeeeeeeard? Beaaaaaaaaaard?”
A cry of “Beeeeeeeeeeeeeard? Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeard?” outside the fort, that stopped us in our tracks and ended with us haggling for fake facial hair with a small boy who assured us he paid at least 25 rupees whenever he bought his.
Read MoreAttari: “Hindustan!” “Pakistan!”
Sat in the VIP area of the most patriotic crowd I have ever been a part of, watching men with fans on their heads attempt to almost kick themselves in the face while marching, while the throng around me chants football-crowd-like songs at a just-as-patriotic, just-as-loudly-singing crowd across the border.
Read MoreBUY MY BOOKS! (go on)
All content © Deadly Knitshade. Please ask if you wish to use it.
Downloading of images has been disabled by dark magic. If you steal anything from this site Ms Knitshde will release the flying knitting machete monkey. Then you'll be sorry. 
Stalkers’ comments