London: Surprise invasion of the Snow People

Cold and very grumpy trains refuse to leave their grit-platformed stations. Colder and grumpier commuters stand around Underground entrances muttering, but secretly happy to ‘work from home’. Little old ladies grudgingly turn up the thermostat and peer in horror at pavements that promise hip replacements. Double decker buses slide gracefully into turns. The Grenadier guards on Whitehall are thankful for their furry hats. Every inch of the city is suddenly blanketed in loveliness.

London is under snow, and on the cloudy breaths of every city dweller the same sentence puffs into the chilly air, “It’s snowing!”.

I awoke on the trusty SS Codswallop (my floating almost-home) to a bit of a waterside winter wonderland.

Snow on the starboard, or is that the port...?

Snow on the starboard, or is that the port...?

Thamesside snowness

Thamesside snowness

And within moments they had arrived. Just when we thought it was safe to eat carrots and burn coal. They’re everywhere. Some have hats, some have scarves, some have natty moustaches made from twigs.

The Snow People are invading London, and I have been stalking them along the Thames…

The smugfaced Russian furhat snowman

Smugfaced Russian furhat snowman

The rarely glimpsed Siamese snow twins

Rarely glimpsed Siamese snow twins

The morose one-eyed snowman

Morose one-eyed snowman

The lazy fingerpoke-faced snowman

Lazy fingerpoke-faced snowman

The fresh-herb-fragrant easy tiger Jamie Oliver snowman

Fresh-herb-fragrant easy tiger Jamie Oliver snowman

The plump and pastry-full Cornish pasty snowman

Plump and pastry-full Cornish pasty snowman

The self-righteous anti-war political snowman (excellent eyebrows)

Self-righteous anti-war political snowman (excellent eyebrows)

Debris from horrific unprovoked snowman attack. Small child flees in horror.

Debris from horrific unprovoked snowman attack. Small child flees in horror.

Worryingly hot six-pack snowman

Worryingly hot six-pack snowman

Coming-to-get-you zombie snowmen

Coming-to-get-you zombie snowmen

glamour model by day, icedancer by night

Busty Saint Snowwoman: glamour model by day, icedancer by night

Demon bench-dwelling snowthing resting his snowbones

Demon bench-dwelling snowthing resting his snowbones

Reclining noface snowmen

Reclining noface snowmen

Two snowspies in covert microfilm exchange

Two snowspies in covert microfilm exchange

The nervous snow bunny at evening silflay

The nervous snow bunny at evening silflay

Scarily ginormous Hagrid of a snowman wants to teach you to sail

Scarily ginormous Hagrid of a sailing snowman. We're gonna need a bigger boat...

I finally stumbled, slid and crunched my way back to the trusty SS Codswallop to warm my frozen camera-clicking digits. To my horror one of them had made his home on the vessel’s roof.

Our sprig-eared roof invader

Our sprig-eared roof invader

Come the morning he was looking a little peaky…

He fears the sunshine

He fears the sunshine

Today, I am sad to say, there was no sign of the little blighter at all. Or any of his kind. They arrive so quickly and mysteriously. They stand (or sit) immovable in their chosen nests. And then they are gone, leaving only slushy puddles, gently rotting root vegetables, pairs of limply broken twigs, and soggy woollen garments behind them…

15 thoughts on “London: Surprise invasion of the Snow People

  1. Summer

    I love the Hagrid snowman! We appear to be in the same club – the adults who secretly worship Harry Potter. Glad I’m not the only one! I also think it’s totally awesome that you live on a houseboat. We considered doing that here, but we have some stupid law that only lets you stay afloat for 6 or 9 months of the year, plus the only water is Lake Mead, which regularly sports dead bodies. Not particularly charming. 🙁

  2. Deadly Knitshade

    Summer, there are loads of us who would like to attend Hogwarts as mature students. Feel no shame. 🙂

    Also I kind of half live on the SS Codswallop. It is my twin sister’s home.

    Fingersandtoes, thanks. 🙂

    Zina, hee hee. Writing for two now am I?

  3. Zina

    Kewl. I’m going to link to your blog instead of going to all the effort of putting stuff up on mine. 🙂